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Jokes of the day (laugh out your sorrows).

laugh out loud.

What does a SIDE CHICK have that a WIFE doesn’t have?
🤔🙄🤔

Next…..

As a Wife Material, this is how you should
call your Husband when Food is ready:
The Lion Himself!
The Liquid Metal!
The Indaboski bahose!
The Man amidst Men!
The fire that almost burnt Shardrack,
Misheck, and Abednego!
The most Handsome man!
The man to whom I’m just a boiled egg!
Boss of all bosses!
Who dare you?
Who born Dem?
His Excellency, My King!
My Head of Department!
My life supporting machine!
My Sanitizer!
My one nd only nose mask!
My quarantine!
My Palliative!
Your burnt offering awaits you in the table
sir!
Please Come and Eat.
Guys, is the volume okay???
I was driving benz in my dream last night… until my sister slap me to wake up and stop pushing the bed to the kitchen 😂😃😂😁😁

Next…..

There was a pastor who wanted to impress his audience by performing miracles, so as to gain more audience.

He called his son and said to him, “On Sunday, you will go up into the altar of the church with some used books and a matchbox, then when I say Holy Ghost fire, you will light up the books with fire and throw it in front of the church.”

On Sunday when the pastor was praying, he shouted, “HOLY GHOST FIRE!”His son quickly lit the paper and threw it in front of the church, the people thought it was real, so they invited other people to the church.

This continued for many Sundays.

One Sunday while the pastor was praying, he shouted, “HOLY GHOST FIRE!”No fire.

He repeated again, “HOLY GHOST FIRE!”No fire.

Agitated, he shouted for the umpteenth time,
“I SAY HOLY GHOST FIRE!” and his son immediately shouted back, “daddy, matches have finished o!”🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

Next…..

🔮When i started using biro ✍️ in my primary school and I made mistake, I would try hard to erase it sometimes I use chalk but it later reappears so i began to use saliva to erase it, It worked only to leave some toroid holes in my book. My teachers then used to beat me for being outrageously dirty but all I tried to do was cover my errors back then 😴🤦
👉 One day, A kind hearted teacher called me aside and say hello Obadimu anytime you make a mistake just cross it over and move on, trying to erase it would only damage your book 📝📖 more my dear 👂🦻.
Trying to erase that your mistake Will make more people know about your mess and the stigma is gonna be for life 🗣️, Have you made a mistake? then cross it over and move on with your life, There is a whole lot ahead than what’s past 💯👌👌✌️

Come out of your past, Control the present and secure the future… Your direction is more important than your speed 🏃🏃🚴⛷️..
💎 👍

Next…..

John was a very dull boy. His peers called him “Father of fools”

When he was in a Private school he got the following results:

Maths = 2%
English = 5%
Science = 0%
Social sciences = 1%

He was taken to a government school and got the following results;

Maths = 0%
English = 1%
Science = 0%
Social sciences = 0%

His parents were very disappointed but still decided to put him in a Christian school even though they were not Christians.
The First term John passed and was the first in the class .
Maths = 90%
English = 93%
Science = 95%
Social sciences = 89%

His parents could not believe it. They asked him how he managed to pass and he said;

*”when I saw a man nailed on the cross at every corner of the school building, I knew that these teachers don’t joke with students here, they will nail me too if I fail”*

😂😂😂
_*The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.*_🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Next…..

🔱 *Before you sack her because of Chrismas expenses remember say January cold dey come oooo, Ladies should I increase the volume?*

Next……

*One Guy just posted “Na dem dey rush me”*
*A girl who knows him very well replied*
*”wetin you thief again?”*
😂 😂 😂 😂

Next……

I don’t usually bring my private life on social media but now I need your help.
How long should you allow your friend to mourn for his stolen phone before asking him to give you his Charger…..🤔

Next……

What can 5k do for you ?
I want to bless 5 people,
Drop your account wit a genuine reason.

Pls anywhere you see this kind of post pls inform me, am broke 😩🥺🥺
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Next……

To those of you who pronounce Hospital as Hospiru,
please kindly tell me how you pronounce Hospitality?
🤷

Next……

*I think my neighbor brought another girl home because this is not how his girlfriend moans, lemme go and borrow some salt.*😂🏃

Next……

MY GIRLFRIEND JUST LEFT ME. ADVICE ME BEFORE I COMMIT SHOE SIZE.
🤩😜😜😜😜😜
Looooooooooooooooooooool….!

Next…..

Boy: Hey Love, I’m standing at the gate, Please come out…

Girl: I am not at home, I’m at Abj, I left yesterday…

Boy: Ok fine… Anyway I brought Fifty K along with me…

Girl: What..!! Wait honey..! just give me 5 minutes I’m on my way…

Boy: Huh… 5 mins from Abj to here..?

Girl: No Love, I’m nearby at my friends place we call it “Abj”…

Boy : OK, hurry up then, we are waiting for you…

Girl : You and Who..?

Boy : Me and my friend, we call him Fifty K… He’s the one who wanted to be meet you…

Girl : God will punish both of you… Better leave my gate before I release our dogs…!

Chill guyz

Next…..

*Name! Name!! Name!!*
*Names of girls that will get Pregnant next year.*
*Me: Favour*.
*Oya guys add urs don’t spoil the fun*🤫😆😁😆🙆‍♂️🧐🧐

Next……

THE PROBLEM OF NIGERIA STARTED WITH CONFUSION IN SPEAKING ENGLISH.

British : Extreme
American : End
Nigeria : Extreme end

British : Knicker
American : Short
Nigeria : Short knicker

British : Salon
American : Barbershop
Nigeria : Barbing salon

British : Bend
American : Corner
Nigeria : Bending corner

British : So
American : Therefore
Nigeria : So therefore

British : Henceforth
American : From now on
Nigeria : From now henceforth

British : Still
American : Yet
Nigeria : Still yet

British : Reverse
American : Turn back
Nigeria : Reverse back

British : Should
American : In case
Nigeria : Should in case

British : Tell me the reason
American : Tell me why
Nigeria : Tell me the reason why

British : Return
American : Backward
Nigeria : Return backward

British : Ten pounds each
American : Ten dollars each
Nigeria : Ten Ten Naira each

🙆🏽‍♀️🙆🏽‍♀️🙆🏽‍♀️🙆🏽‍♀️we too much😂😂😂😂😂😂

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