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Jokes of the day (laugh out your sorrows).

Laugh out loud.

*A married man takes a babe on a date and said to her while flirting with her…..Let me hear words that will increase my heartbeat.*
*She said: Your wife is sitting behind us.*😂😂
*Laugh out n sleep*
🎤🎧🎤🎧🎤🎧

Next…..

Kolapo spit some saliva into his palm and rob it on his head
Teacher : Kolapo why do you smear you head with saliva
Kolapo : Because what you are teaching does not enter my
head
Teacher : So what will the saliva do
Kolapo : It will help it to enter because last night I heard my mum telling my dad that if it doesn’t enter easily, he should put saliva on the head 😂😂😂😂😂😂

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*WIFE* : Honey let’s play a game?
*HUSBAND* : OK, what is the game all about.
*WIFE* : If I mention a country, you will run to the left side of the room and touch the wall and if I mention a bird you will run to the
Right side of the room and touch the wall,if you run to the wrong direction,you will give me all your salary for the month.
*HUSBAND* : OK and if you fail, I will have your salary too right?
*WIFE* : (smile) yes darling
*HUSBAND* : OK (stood up and was ready to run to any direction)
*WIFE* :are you ready.?
*HUSBAND* : Yes ready
*WIFE* : Turkey

It has been four hours now the husband is still standing at the spot wondering if she meant the country or the bird.

MORAL LESSON: after God, fear women they are made special🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣!!!

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_*A SINCERE APOLOGY:*_

_A man received this message from his neighbor_…
_”Sorry sir_, _I have been using your wife day and night when you are not at home, in fact_, _much more than you do_.
_I confess this now because I am feeling very guilty_. _Hope you will accept my sincere apologies_.” _I will pay if you wish to charge service fee_

Immediately after reading the message, the man shot his wife dead.

A few minutes later, he received another message:
“Sorry sir, a spelling mistake…
I meant _*WiFi*_ not ~Wife~.”

We must be very careful how we react to things, don’t be quick to get angry, find out the other person’s version of events and allow yourself room to reason before you react. This man killed his innocent wife, just because of a spelling mistake.

*Patience is a Virtue*.
Let this serve as a caution to us all, be slow to get angry. Anger opens the door to other deadly sins. Always look before you leap…May God help us all…. Amen
❣️❣️

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DANGERS OF TOO MUCH HOME TRAINING!!!!!!

“My wife’s long time friend just visited from United States.
She was about to leave when she beckoned on my two kids and offered them $1,000 each….[a whole ₦720,000]. Only for these children to shout out loudly….
“Thank you Ma, our parents warned us never to collect gifts from strangers”.
The embarrased woman quietly put the money back in her bag! She replied: “Well trained kids”.

😲🙆‍♂I started sweating, I almost shouted, Which parent said that to you??
😭😭😭

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==== *QUESTION FOR THE DAY*
LADIES ONLY: Between a Guy who always calls you but chats less, and a Guy who always chats you but hardly or never calls, who would you say is serious with you and who would you take serious to yourself?.

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*Be sincere with your answer and give reasons.*
*My girlfriend came to my house 🏠 today and told me to make her feel like a woman…*
*I gathered all my dirty clothes 👚 for her to wash and she left*
🔽🔽
*I think 🤔 she went to buy 🛍 detergent*

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😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
*Plz wen did buhari announce the first lockdown? I want to calculate something* 🙄

_It will not work for dis girl_🙆‍♂️🙆‍♂️

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After break up.

White Girls: He was nice.I Miss him. I loved him so much but sometimes we have to let go of what we love💔💔

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African Girls:
Tah!! That devil I regret meeting.i curse the day we met.He will burn in hell. he will never get a lady like me

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My girlfriend: Stop fingering me.

Me: It’s my D**k babe.

My girlfriend: oo okay.. Let me moan ..ooh ahhh ahhh
😭😭😭😭

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To those people who travel for sex .. Don’t you have Neighbours🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

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Instead of writing *Knowledge* as *nolej* . They decided to waste letters and make life difficult🙄🙄

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HIM: Babe are you coming
HER: Tell me who’s Lucy first.
HIM: The girl that will come if you don’t
🤣🤣🙄

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Sucking a Lady’s breast is normal because the act was learnt when we were Young but the act of ladies sucking men’s dick still baffles me..🙄🙄
Where did you ladies learn it from🤔🤔

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Some guys hold their girlfriend’s hand at the mall because if they leave her hand, she will start shopping*😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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*A “break” in relationship is honestly the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard..Let’s break up and be friends, Aunte just tell the young man yuh have found someone yuh think is better than him. Life is short don’t stress it for we guys!*😊

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Omo na yam ad plantain go popular this Christmas ooh, since rice dey feel say e be Yahoo boy. 😂😂😂
The worst part be say onion cum dey form like sure client🙅

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*IF U WANT TO ENJOY FUCK, FUCK A Girl.. DAT JUST BROKE UP. I SWEAR SHE WILL FUCK YOU TO CANCEL OUT THE MEMORY OF HER EX….🙈🙈🙈* 🙈 😂😂😂😂🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

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FACT ABOUT BOYS
SHUN THEM -they say you are rude
GIVE THEM A CHANCE – they say you are cheap
IF YOU EAT A LITTLE – they say you are pretending
IF THEY TAKE YOU OUT AND YOU EAT TO YOUR SATISFACTION – they say you are greedy and a glutton
APPLY MAKEUP – they say you are artificial
DON’T APPLY MAKEUP – they say you are ugly and Local
SMILE AT THEM – they say you want to seduce them
FROWN AT THEM – they say you feel so big
LOVE THEM TOO MUCH – they say you can’t do without them and start misbehaving
DON’T LOVE THEM TOO MUCH – they say you don’t care about them and they pretend to be good at times
IF YOU DON’T GIVE THEM MONEY- They’ll Say you are too stingy that you gat nothing to offer In that relationship
GIVE THEM MONEY- They’ll Say You are Not Dating 0nly Him, that you are Collecting Money from other guys
GUYS WHAT EXACTLY IS Y0UR PROBLEM?
See Their teeth I Know Some girls Here Will be Happy About this post.. Anyway I just post ds because most girls av been complaining that i should Side with them for once in my life🙄🙈🙈

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